My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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