I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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