we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize