Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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