put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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