My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
