Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
how can u be prego again
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
