I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
