maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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