I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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