just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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