Those balls look pretty dangerous.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
