I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
