I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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