your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
