Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
