I want to walk on stilts...naked
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
