Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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