plz talk dirty to me
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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