It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
