im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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