it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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