you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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