Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
