turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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