Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize