she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
