we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
