After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize