Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
