1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
