my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize