sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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