guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
