Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
