She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You ruined the universe
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
