Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
