How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
