What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
