We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
