eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
