i wish there were pregnant emoticons
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize