Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
