Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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