I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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