two words: eviction party
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
