just survived the first fart of the relationship.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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