it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
