Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
send nudes
from the living room?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize