Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
