Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
