She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
