the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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