You work out of a Hotel?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
