i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Dear god my vagina.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
