return my video game
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize