He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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