I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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