i'm lost and i look like a hooker
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
