also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize