Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
