yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
