did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I had to cum in my sink.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize