Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Randomize
