They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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