Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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