I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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