so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
